I come from a family with parents who are firm believers in traditional Chinese core values which stress on education, filial piety, etiquette, shame and patience. Just like most Chinese, we tend to be very shy in expressing our love to each other, not to mention kissing and hugging in the public.
There was once, we travelled to the famous Batu Ferrighi Beach which is a popular destination in Pulau Pinang. Needless to say, the beach was flooded with tourists. I was so excited that I could not wait any longer to get myself changed into my swimsuits and plunge into the clear turquoise water. But wait a second, something caught my eyes just when I was about to go on my swimming spree. On the beach, lay a few naked bodies draping loosely in small towels. As I turned around my head, again I saw another couple hugging each other and kissing passionately. I was too shell-shocked to take my eyes off them. What was all this? At that young age, I had never seen people display such intimacy in the public. I somehow felt uncomfortable witnessing the whole scene for I was never taught that I could actually lie nakedly, kiss and hug in the public. Later when I asked my parents about it, they told me that they were foreigners who were sunbathing and it is natural for Westerners especially, to kiss and hug each other in the public. Then I threw another question at my parents, " Then why cant' we do that?". Thinking that I was too young to understand, they just told me that we were DIFFERENT from the Westerners and that DIFFERENCE does not allow us to do so. Okay, so we were different, but still, why?
As I grow older, I begin to understand that the difference that my parents referred to is the intercultural difference. It is common to see couples hugging and kissing each other in the Western countries but such an action can cause consternation and legal action in some Asian countries. Personally, I think that understanding and tolerance are the keys to intercultural difference. When visiting foreign countries or interacting with people from different backgrounds, it is best to understand their cultural differences beforehand to avoid misunderstanding or embarrassment arise. At the same time, we should bear in mind that intercultural difference is also difference in interpretation of gesture and behavior. For example, you won't want to hold your thumb upwards to your Islamic friend although you mean "everything is ok" because it is interpreted as a rude sexual sign in some Islamic countries. So, when you are in Rome, do as the Romans do!
Hi Sushi,
ReplyDeleteI think this intercultural difference you mentioned, is becoming reducing as compared to last time. I noticed that Singaporeans are greatly influenced by the Western cultures through western shows and have become more opened. Especially, taking teenagers for an example, I have seen two couples, young couples, making out at void decks, which was not often seen previously. However, I believe being open like the Westerners may also be a good thing as we Asians, are too conservative and do not know how to express ourselves to others. I like the way Westerners show their love through actions, like parents do hug and kiss their children even when they are adults. Action really does play a important role in this context.
Thanks for sharing! I enjoy reading your post!
Hey SS,
ReplyDeleteFor people in Asian societies, we are definitely a lot more conservative than the Westerners. Like what Lynette has mentioned, our societies are becoming less conservative due to external influences. It is pretty common nowadays to see teenagers embracing one another in the full view of the public.
It is true that we need to understand the different cultures and be tolerant of other people, and eventually integrate into society by learning how the locals behave. However, I personally believe we need to pick and choose different aspects of other cultures, and not go against our values and beliefs at the end of the day.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lynette and Jun Xiong that such tradition has been very much diluted over the years because of westernisation and their influence. I think that it is always an interesting sight to see how different cultures actually interact and influence each other. Perhaps most direct of all will be food culture. Over the years, we actually begin to see many types of fusion food, for instance the use of soya sauce and oriential spices in western food, the inclusion of french fries in the middle-east kebab as part of the meal. All these display the changing and ever growing influence of various culture on each other.